Tag Archives: soulmates

Commitment

I truly don’t think people understand or trust in the commitment Jarrod and I share.  Perhaps from an outsider’s point of view it could seem pretty early in our relationship to really know how permanent we will be.  The kids all seem to think we will split, and almost expect it from what I’ve observed.  Our other family members and friends (on both sides) seem to be waiting to have to pick up the pieces of another failed attempt at a relationship.  Jarrod and I have both dated quite a bit in our pasts, with bad results, so in our loved ones’ eyes maybe they don’t trust our permanence together.

Speaking from my own personal experiences, I have been in a few long-term, crappy relationships that were very unstable and obviously ended.  Ended badly, even.  Rumors, destruction, hurt feelings… all the bad things that result from a breakup or divorce.  However, I went on, believing I’d one day have to either stay alone or settle, not believing I’d find “the one” that clicked with me so very well.

As cliche as it may sound, I found my soulmate in Jarrod.  As everyone knows, we met at work, we talked quite a lot during our shifts together, and became friends.  I was in an abusive relationship, so it didn’t go any further until I ended that abusive relationship.  And again, yes, we moved VERY quickly.  Putting the impression out there to people that we were being foolish and rash, that our passion would fizzle out.  But what no one knows is what went on (and continues to go on) behind closed doors.  What no one knows is the deep, cosmic, almost unbelievable connection Jarrod and I share on every level of our existence.

You see, Jarrod and I have spent countless hours talking.  We have talked about the connection we share, which neither of us believed was even something that could exist.  We have talked about our pasts.  We have talked about our experiences with family, friends, work, and EVERYTHING in between.  We have talked about just about every topic there is to talk about, no matter how bad or embarrassing.  We have spent nearly 24 hours together every day for the entire last 10 months, and we never shut up when we’re together.  If we run into something we don’t agree on, we may take a few hours to collect our thoughts, but then we talk that out too.  And the passion…. well it has not only stuck around, but it has gotten stronger.  He and I both feel like we found the other half of ourselves, and as co-dependent as it may be, neither of us can imagine what life would be like without the other.  We are each other’s best friend.  We are a true match for one another.  And personally, I cannot imagine being even a fraction as happy with anyone else by my side.

So when people are lingering, watching, waiting for the other shoe to drop, I have one of two attitudes at any given moment.  Either I think its ironic and funny, and I know we will prove everyone wrong one day by staying together until we are old and feeble… and die.  Or I get annoyed and almost hurt that people don’t understand the commitment we share.  I don’t know how I could expect anyone to see it I suppose, after all, nearly no one really takes marriage or monogamy seriously anymore.  But hear me and really believe me when I say: there is no way on this earth or any other that anything will tear apart what Jarrod and I have together.  We are in this together forever.  Divorce isn’t an option for either of us.  Being with anyone else physically or emotionally isn’t an option for either of us.  And even though neither of us are religious people, there is some deeper, spiritual reason for us to be together.  We both felt it the moment of our first hug.  We sort of melted into each other, and that feeling has only gotten more intense over time.  Our “potential mate” radars have been shut off, because they are no longer needed.  We found each other after what seems like an overly-extended waiting period, and we are making up for lost time.  Our quickness to be together, to get married, to have babies together… it all comes from the fact that we believe we were meant to be together all along, and we just missed it somewhere along the way before last year.  And now that we found each other at long last, it all fits together.  He is my everything.

The point is, there is no need to wait and see anymore.  There is no need to expect the worst.  There is no worry of rocky roads ahead or divorce.  Sure, we will disagree on things from time to time.  But we are close enough, love and respect each other enough to know to just give each other time, and we always work through it.  We are each other’s top priority.  That will never change.  Never.  So rest easy dear loved ones, just as we do, that this is a permanent commitment.  Our hearts and lives are so filled with love, we could not imagine or desire for anything different.

Laugh!

You might think that the life of a blogger is a non-stop series of sexy, celebrity-attended parties, a virtual whirlwind of drug and alcohol-fueled insanity that even famed raconteur Hunter S. Thompson might call excessive.  And you’d be right about that.  Nevertheless, sometimes we are called upon to do actual work, and be “responsible”.  And there has been a lot of that nonsense lately, which not only makes it hard to find the time and energy to write a blog post, but also tends to make life a little tedious…which, in turn, causes tempers to flare, motivation to dwindle, and attitudes and moods to turn to crap.  This time of year doesn’t help, either.  Winter shouldn’t even be a thing; the only thing that winter accomplishes is to make you appreciate summer a little more, which is a pretty substantial accomplishment considering summer also really, really sucks.  Really.  Sucks.  And don’t trust anyone who tries to tell you that it doesn’t.  (The views of Jarrod are not necessarily those of HesseLane or its subsidiaries).

But all is not lost.  Even though life, work, the very seasons of the planet upon which we live may all be trying to to rip out your soul, crumple it up and cram it into the nearest rubbish bin, you can still maintain your insanity by taking a more whimsical approach to the nightmarish hellscape we’re forced from birth to navigate and finding things to be amused by.  For example, I don’t really enjoy working; not just my job in particular, but ANY job.  In general, I can think of many, many thousands of things I’d rather be doing than working.  What I need is for someone to just send me large sums of money every so often, with no expectation that I’m ever going to provide any service to them in exchange for it.  Yeah, that’s what I need.

But until someone sees fit to do that, I have to work.  And since I do, it’s pretty helpful that I work with Shauna.  Not only do we work together, but he have practically the same schedules.  Sometimes that isn’t a good thing (more on that never).  Usually it IS a good thing, and here’s why:  we make each other laugh.  I’m one of those people who is constantly finding things amusing but rarely laughs out loud.  If I had a nickel for everytime I’ve typed “lol” and actually lol’d, I’d have, oh, about zero dollars and zero cents.  However, Shauna makes me laugh till I cry, and she does it pretty effortlessly.  From day one, she’s just kind of instinctively known what my sense of humor is and is able to tap into it…and I think the reason she has such an easy time with that is because it pretty seamlessly matches up with her own sense of humor.  Never does this particular connection between us come in more handy than when we’re at work, a place neither of us really want to be and which can sometimes put us both in a crappy mood.  Just the other night we were at work, and for some reason we began talking about cooking apple pies in the fryer.  Shauna escalated the absurdity of the conversation a little, and then I did, and then she did again, and soon were talking about dumping a whole box of apple pies in the fryer and then fishing them out with the baskets.  In that moment the zaniness of it all made me laugh uncontrollably, until tears were streaming down my face.  And it occured to me that I was getting paid to stand there and laugh myself silly.  Which I found myself very ok with.

Recently we were sitting in our bedroom when my youngest daughter Willow wandered in.  She was wearing leggings, and the tag on the back was annoying her; she wanted to know if I would cut the tag off.  A lot of times, you can just yank those tags off without the need for scissors or anything; they’re designed to just be ripped off.  maxresdefaultSo I grabbed the tag and attempted to dispose of it once and for all.  Unfortunately, it was attached a bit more securely than I had given it credit for, and, rather than ripping the tag off, I lifted Willow completely off the ground, giving her an ultrawedgie in the process.  The tag finally came off, but brought a giant chunk of the fabric from the butt of her leggings with it.  As I sat there in bed holding the tag with the lonely piece of fabric attached to it, and looking at the gaping hole in the butt of the leggings (big enough for Willows entire butt to fit through), I could have been annoyed that I had just ruined a perfectly good article of clothing.  But Shauna was laughing hysterically, as was Willow, and at that point, what could I do?  I laughed, gentle reader…I laughed.  And that’s all I’m saying.

What if…

What if I kiss all the spots you taught yourself to hate?

What if I placed my hands on them and left them still, long enough for my heat to join  ours and you to forget there was ever air between our skin?

What if I love all you loathe and what if I spend my days dirtying up your brain that was washed?

Show you new pictures of the same you you started avoiding in the mirror?

What if I say all they say is wrong and fill your ears with honest words in a language you stopped practicing?

What if I plant new flowers in the places you frown at, and teach you the names of them as they bloom?

What if I told you to never cut them and let the petals decorate the floor as you twirl through your life?

What if you forget you were ever anything other than beautiful?

~Tyler Knott Gregson

2 Months

It has been two whole months.  Two months since my husband and I tied the knot after being together for only 8 days.  And two months since I had my final weight loss related surgery.

I couldn’t possibly ask for a better husband and example of a real man for my boys.  I knew immediately when we confessed our feelings to each other that he would be my forever, and that feeling has only gotten stronger every single day since then.  He’s the best friend I’ve ever had!  We lay awake at night and talk about everything.  We intend often to watch TV or a movie, get housework done together, or take care of other errands, and often it gets put on the back burner to our conversations, or the conversations continue through it all.  We are attached at the hip and prefer to do anything we need to do, together.  We even prefer to work the same shifts together at work, just to be in each other’s presence.  We understand and are comfortable with each other on the deepest level.  I’ve honestly never felt anything like this before, and it’s the best!  He is wonderful with my kids, and they become more and more open to him each day.  His kids are pretty awesome as well, and I love how our family is blending.  Jarrod is my heart, my soul, my life.  This is my forever, and I couldn’t be happier or more content.

As far as my surgical recovery and body image goes, I’m quite satisfied now!  I started my weight loss journey in January of 2016 at 270 pounds.  Around summer of 2016 I had already lost enough weight to disqualify myself from bariatric weight loss surgery by getting down to around 230 pounds.  I had changed my lifestyle enough to take off the weight myself, by eating less fat and carbs, more protein, and cutting out sugary soda.  Then once I reached about 225 pounds I qualified for skin removal surgery, and got approved for my Panniculectomy (tummy tuck) in March 2017, which is when it was done.  I wasn’t satisfied with the results as it healed because I still had quite a bit of sag, my bellybutton was off-center, and a couple other details I was dissatisfied with.  So when I had my breast reduction and lift on September 1st, I was able to get my tummy tuck revised.  Now it’s been two months since I had that last surgery, and though nothing is perfect, I am VERY satisfied with my results.  I am now hovering right around 200 pounds, and still want to lose about 15.  I haven’t had the willpower to just buckle down and take off that last 15 yet, but I know I will and am not too concerned with it anyway.  I’m happy with the way I look now, with the way my clothes fit, and with my appearance in the mirror. Really, I feel I just need to tone up now.  I’m very proud of myself for having come this far without bariatric surgery.  And I plan to continue this healthier lifestyle forever.  I NEVER want to gain that weight back.  I have so much less body ache and pain now, I am more flexible and don’t lose my breath going up and down stairs, I have more stamina and am all around a much happier person.  I love it.

Two months since my life made some permanent changes for the better.  I am so happy to have had these opportunities come to me, and to have been able to grab ahold of them.  I am so happy with my life!

So In Love!

Throughout my life I have involved myself in a few romantic relationships.  Some seemed good at first and withered.  Some were bad from the start but I settled anyway.  Some were out of loneliness or desperation.  Some were out of boredom and the desire for company.  But ultimately, none of them worked out in the long run.

There’s that saying “someday someone will come along that will make you understand why it never worked out with anyone else.”  I always wanted to believe that, but thought it to be a fantasy; an inspirational quote to keep people’s spirits up.  Until it happened to me.

And now, now there’s this guy Jarrod, and he’s like no one I’ve ever met before.  It started off very casually, working together and associating with each other only at work.  But as time went on, we talked more and more during our shared shifts.  We discovered through our conversations that we have been through a lot of the same troubles in relationships, parenting, just life in general.  We discovered that we have the same beliefs on the big things, like religion and politics.  We share a very similar parenting style, with a great love and appreciation for our children and family.

Then we started talking and spending time together outside of work once my ex and I split up, which is where things started to move very quickly.  Days have blended together, nights have flown by, just talking and discussing our lives, and finding strong similarities at every turn, which is still continuing today.  It was sudden, and crazy, but we know with absolute certainty that this will be forever.  Kindred spirits, soul mates.  There’s no denying it.  The similarities, the comfort we find in one another, the deepest unexplainable connection we share.  Being with him makes me realize why it never worked with anyone else, for real.  No fantasy.  And he feels the same way.  It feels like we were born for each other.

We have had our children all spend time together which went well, as we both expected it to go.  And we are moving quickly on moving in together.  And the big news – we ran off to Colorado and got married on August 30th!  Because face it, life is too short and unexpected things happen, and neither one of us wanted to waste time getting wrapped up in overthinking and hesitation over something we both know will certainly last the rest of our lifetime.  We had a very private ceremony – only the 2 of us, and later on will throw a wedding for all of our friends and family… likely on our 1- or 2-year anniversary.

The trip was great! I had never been to Colorado, and Jarrod hadn’t been in many years. We drove there and back, and stayed in a beautiful bed and breakfast called Meadow Creek Mountain Lodge.  It’s just southwest of Denver.  The bed and breakfast had a hot tub, a heavenly king sized bed, and the owner was a pretty great guy too, and made a wonderful breakfast for us.  We were able to run around Denver a bit and shop for our rings, and have supper there in Denver.  Then we enjoyed alone time and slept in before we had to head back to Iowa.

We have both agreed to put this blog post out there for the public because we both know there will be people in our lives who will not understand why we would move so fast, or make such a crazy, bold, impulsive decision.  We are both very aware that is what we are doing.  But we are here to say that it is OUR decision to make, and we would love your support and understanding, whether or not you understand our reasoning.  We are very thrilled with our decision, and don’t regret a thing!