Since Jarrod and I aren’t really writing together for the time being, I decided to get my very own blog up and running. You can follow me and read updates from my point of view over at HippieMom. Seeya there!
I truly don’t think people understand or trust in the commitment Jarrod and I share. Perhaps from an outsider’s point of view it could seem pretty early in our relationship to really know how permanent we will be. The kids all seem to think we will split, and almost expect it from what I’ve observed. Our other family members and friends (on both sides) seem to be waiting to have to pick up the pieces of another failed attempt at a relationship. Jarrod and I have both dated quite a bit in our pasts, with bad results, so in our loved ones’ eyes maybe they don’t trust our permanence together.
Speaking from my own personal experiences, I have been in a few long-term, crappy relationships that were very unstable and obviously ended. Ended badly, even. Rumors, destruction, hurt feelings… all the bad things that result from a breakup or divorce. However, I went on, believing I’d one day have to either stay alone or settle, not believing I’d find “the one” that clicked with me so very well.
As cliche as it may sound, I found my soulmate in Jarrod. As everyone knows, we met at work, we talked quite a lot during our shifts together, and became friends. I was in an abusive relationship, so it didn’t go any further until I ended that abusive relationship. And again, yes, we moved VERY quickly. Putting the impression out there to people that we were being foolish and rash, that our passion would fizzle out. But what no one knows is what went on (and continues to go on) behind closed doors. What no one knows is the deep, cosmic, almost unbelievable connection Jarrod and I share on every level of our existence.
You see, Jarrod and I have spent countless hours talking. We have talked about the connection we share, which neither of us believed was even something that could exist. We have talked about our pasts. We have talked about our experiences with family, friends, work, and EVERYTHING in between. We have talked about just about every topic there is to talk about, no matter how bad or embarrassing. We have spent nearly 24 hours together every day for the entire last 10 months, and we never shut up when we’re together. If we run into something we don’t agree on, we may take a few hours to collect our thoughts, but then we talk that out too. And the passion…. well it has not only stuck around, but it has gotten stronger. He and I both feel like we found the other half of ourselves, and as co-dependent as it may be, neither of us can imagine what life would be like without the other. We are each other’s best friend. We are a true match for one another. And personally, I cannot imagine being even a fraction as happy with anyone else by my side.
So when people are lingering, watching, waiting for the other shoe to drop, I have one of two attitudes at any given moment. Either I think its ironic and funny, and I know we will prove everyone wrong one day by staying together until we are old and feeble… and die. Or I get annoyed and almost hurt that people don’t understand the commitment we share. I don’t know how I could expect anyone to see it I suppose, after all, nearly no one really takes marriage or monogamy seriously anymore. But hear me and really believe me when I say: there is no way on this earth or any other that anything will tear apart what Jarrod and I have together. We are in this together forever. Divorce isn’t an option for either of us. Being with anyone else physically or emotionally isn’t an option for either of us. And even though neither of us are religious people, there is some deeper, spiritual reason for us to be together. We both felt it the moment of our first hug. We sort of melted into each other, and that feeling has only gotten more intense over time. Our “potential mate” radars have been shut off, because they are no longer needed. We found each other after what seems like an overly-extended waiting period, and we are making up for lost time. Our quickness to be together, to get married, to have babies together… it all comes from the fact that we believe we were meant to be together all along, and we just missed it somewhere along the way before last year. And now that we found each other at long last, it all fits together. He is my everything.
The point is, there is no need to wait and see anymore. There is no need to expect the worst. There is no worry of rocky roads ahead or divorce. Sure, we will disagree on things from time to time. But we are close enough, love and respect each other enough to know to just give each other time, and we always work through it. We are each other’s top priority. That will never change. Never. So rest easy dear loved ones, just as we do, that this is a permanent commitment. Our hearts and lives are so filled with love, we could not imagine or desire for anything different.
I may have tested negative on Wednesday, May 30th when I needed to start those heavy meds for my infection….. but on Sunday, June 3rd, when my period was due, I tested positive! WE’RE PREGNANT!!
The morning that I tested, I didn’t really have any reason to do so. I just woke up, thought it was weird that my boobs were more sore than normal, noticed I wasn’t bleeding yet, and figured why not, since we had purchased a 3-pack of tests. So I went into the bathroom and tested. The positive line came up as quickly as the test line and immediately I was a little freaked out. Not because I was pregnant – that was EXCITING!!! But because I had started those antibiotics that I was not supposed to take during pregnancy. Jarrod had already gone to work that morning, so I texted him and told him to come to get me a little early so we could chat first. He showed up about half an hour later (but it seemed like I waited for HOURS). I told him some other random stuff that had been going on around the house, and then handed him the pregnancy test from my pocket. He was so happy, but also a little hesitant to be happy because of my infection issues and medications. He couldn’t stop looking at the test in awe as we continued to discuss everything on our minds.
It was entirely unexpected, unpredicted, and highly unlikely to happen so soon. I mean really, I ovulated only FIVE days after Jarrod’s vasectomy reversal. And to quote Jarrod, “The recommended healing time before attempting “relations” was two weeks, and I don’t mind telling you that we have stuck unyieldingly to that medical advice, being the responsible adults that we are and whatnot.” So I don’t know how that could have possibly happened. Hahaha!
Like the doctor said, those sperm must’ve been waiting at the gates like racehorses, just waiting for the reversal to be done. And BAM, pregnant! But we’ve waited to tell anyone because first of all, the test was positive on the actual day of my period being due. Which would have made me only 1 day short of being 4 weeks along. That is very early to know for certain there will be a future for this tiny life. Also, with my tubal reversal, there is a higher chance of ectopic pregnancy, and we wanted to wait until we had all our early testing and viability ultrasound done before we even told our kids and the rest of our family, let alone going public with it all.
Well, today I am officially 6 weeks along, and we got our ultrasound to make sure baby is where he/she is supposed to be, and all is well! And with that information we were able to tell the kids and other family members…. and now share it with the world! We are so excited that this happened, especially so quickly! Baby is due February 11, 2019. There will be plenty of updates along the way! So stay tuned…
The USA is buzzing with excitement over tax returns right now. Everyone gets to go out and buy a brand new TV, new video game systems and other electronics, they’re getting new tattoos, clothes, vehicles, etc. Most other years I was right there with the general public and giving all that tax money directly to the local retail stores. But this year, it’s different.
Yes, we got a tax return, but we aren’t going and getting all the latest gadgets.
The ONE thing we had promised the kids we would do this year is go on a vacation. We were discussing Florida, and everyone was quite excited about it. Unfortunately, when we found out that my unemployment payments in 2017 cut into our refund more than I ever knew it would, we had to flush the dream of a family vacation on the beach right down the toilet (along with creating some guilt for both Jarrod and I for having to break that promise).
We had to face facts: the best we could do is keep paying our monthly bills with a small boost so we didn’t fall behind, and plan a mini-vacation closer to home. So now we are looking at resort-style hotels within Iowa to go spend a night or two. There is one place a couple hours away that has laser tag, bowling, go karts, an arcade, and an indoor water park that we’re looking into. It sounds pretty fun to me, and the kids all seem to be on board with that idea. But if for some reason that doesn’t work out or ends up being out of our price range, we’ll just stick to the Iowa State Fair later this summer, and perhaps a visit to Adventureland, our local amusement park.
I’d be lying if I said I was not disappointed, myself. I have visited Florida the last 2 years, and I LOVE it there. The ocean is spectacular. I know for a fact 2 of my boys were really looking forward to going, and the girls seem rather let down that we aren’t going, as well. But as it stands, we will just have to settle for Iowa. As long as we can have fun together as a family, that is what REALLY matters, right?
Those are my thoughts for today. Not all blog posts can be sunshine and rainbows… this IS real life afterall. 🙂 And if you’re an Iowa native and have any suggestions for awesome family fun within the state, please leave a comment/suggestion for us to look into. Thanks in advance.
You might think that the life of a blogger is a non-stop series of sexy, celebrity-attended parties, a virtual whirlwind of drug and alcohol-fueled insanity that even famed raconteur Hunter S. Thompson might call excessive. And you’d be right about that. Nevertheless, sometimes we are called upon to do actual work, and be “responsible”. And there has been a lot of that nonsense lately, which not only makes it hard to find the time and energy to write a blog post, but also tends to make life a little tedious…which, in turn, causes tempers to flare, motivation to dwindle, and attitudes and moods to turn to crap. This time of year doesn’t help, either. Winter shouldn’t even be a thing; the only thing that winter accomplishes is to make you appreciate summer a little more, which is a pretty substantial accomplishment considering summer also really, really sucks. Really. Sucks. And don’t trust anyone who tries to tell you that it doesn’t. (The views of Jarrod are not necessarily those of HesseLane or its subsidiaries).
But all is not lost. Even though life, work, the very seasons of the planet upon which we live may all be trying to to rip out your soul, crumple it up and cram it into the nearest rubbish bin, you can still maintain your insanity by taking a more whimsical approach to the nightmarish hellscape we’re forced from birth to navigate and finding things to be amused by. For example, I don’t really enjoy working; not just my job in particular, but ANY job. In general, I can think of many, many thousands of things I’d rather be doing than working. What I need is for someone to just send me large sums of money every so often, with no expectation that I’m ever going to provide any service to them in exchange for it. Yeah, that’s what I need.
But until someone sees fit to do that, I have to work. And since I do, it’s pretty helpful that I work with Shauna. Not only do we work together, but he have practically the same schedules. Sometimes that isn’t a good thing (more on that never). Usually it IS a good thing, and here’s why: we make each other laugh. I’m one of those people who is constantly finding things amusing but rarely laughs out loud. If I had a nickel for everytime I’ve typed “lol” and actually lol’d, I’d have, oh, about zero dollars and zero cents. However, Shauna makes me laugh till I cry, and she does it pretty effortlessly. From day one, she’s just kind of instinctively known what my sense of humor is and is able to tap into it…and I think the reason she has such an easy time with that is because it pretty seamlessly matches up with her own sense of humor. Never does this particular connection between us come in more handy than when we’re at work, a place neither of us really want to be and which can sometimes put us both in a crappy mood. Just the other night we were at work, and for some reason we began talking about cooking apple pies in the fryer. Shauna escalated the absurdity of the conversation a little, and then I did, and then she did again, and soon were talking about dumping a whole box of apple pies in the fryer and then fishing them out with the baskets. In that moment the zaniness of it all made me laugh uncontrollably, until tears were streaming down my face. And it occured to me that I was getting paid to stand there and laugh myself silly. Which I found myself very ok with.
Recently we were sitting in our bedroom when my youngest daughter Willow wandered in. She was wearing leggings, and the tag on the back was annoying her; she wanted to know if I would cut the tag off. A lot of times, you can just yank those tags off without the need for scissors or anything; they’re designed to just be ripped off. So I grabbed the tag and attempted to dispose of it once and for all. Unfortunately, it was attached a bit more securely than I had given it credit for, and, rather than ripping the tag off, I lifted Willow completely off the ground, giving her an ultrawedgie in the process. The tag finally came off, but brought a giant chunk of the fabric from the butt of her leggings with it. As I sat there in bed holding the tag with the lonely piece of fabric attached to it, and looking at the gaping hole in the butt of the leggings (big enough for Willows entire butt to fit through), I could have been annoyed that I had just ruined a perfectly good article of clothing. But Shauna was laughing hysterically, as was Willow, and at that point, what could I do? I laughed, gentle reader…I laughed. And that’s all I’m saying.
How can people live such fake lives? They wake up in the morning, paint on makeup, bathe in perfume or cologne, put on uncomfortable, restrictive clothing just to appear a certain way, slap a fake smile on their face, leave their sterile house, hop into a shiny, fancy car, and go about their day. Everyone they encounter that dresses and behaves the same as them, they are fake-friendly with. Everyone they perceive as above them, they brown-nose. Everyone they perceive as below them they sneer at and ridicule.
In groups they laugh loudly and act as though they own the place in which they sit. Each trying to prove to the others that they have a good life and make good money. In their world, no one else could possibly understand or live up to the way they attempt to keep up with each other. There’s no consideration. There’s no empathy. There’s no true joy. Just competition. And possession.
Why? Just why?
Myself and my family may not have a ton of money, a mound of debt for things to prove we’re better than others, or brand name shiny “things.” But I don’t want that. I love my life of honesty. I love my genuine, opinionated, down-to-earth, honest self. I love that I tell people what I think. I love that I don’t feel obligated to paint on a happy face every day. I love that my life is not a competition to me, with my peers. I love that I comfortably and freely exercise my right to self-expression. And I love that I’m raising my kiddos to do the same. Furthermore, I love finding like-minded people because they are some of the most fun and interesting people I’ve ever known!
I can’t imagine living a life of fake smiles and dinner parties, overly high mortgages and designer belongings. It’s so stuffy, boring…ordinary.
I love being unique, colorful and full of adventure. It’s the only way I could imagine a life worth living.
Shauna and I started this blog about a month ago, and since that time we’ve talked a lot about the kinds of things we want to write about here. It’ll essentially be a melting pot of ideas, likes, dislikes, family and job stuff, and just whatever else we feel like writing about. A glimpse into our everyday lives, in other words. And I love that idea; that is exactly the kind of blog I’d want to read from someone else. One would think that, with that kind of broad outline, it’d be easy to come up with ideas for things to write about, because pretty much anything would be fair game. But such is not the case. Personally, I find myself plagued by really unhelpful thoughts, such as “you know, lots of people lead really crazy, eventful lives. What makes you think your life is interesting enough to blog about? Furthermore, what gives you the audacity to expect people to READ that blog, let alone tell other people to read it? To expect people to stop their cars in traffic to read your latest post, and to send out mass texts to every friend, relative, co-worker, and minor acquaintance they have in their phone to tell THEM to read it? Hmmm?” Make no mistake: I expect ALL of those things to happen, and since I’ve been trying to think of a topic to blog about anyway, I figure why not make this post about WHY I expect that.
Everyone has opinions, good and bad, and it’s in the nature of humans to want to share that opinion with other people. Either to find someone who agrees with you and who validates the way you feel about something, or to find someone who disagrees and maybe makes you think of something in a different way that you never would have come to on your own. However, the resources that people had to get their opinions heard used to be pretty limited and ineffective. Short of scoring a job writing an opinion column in your local newspaper, or standing on a soapbox in the town square and shouting, there was no good way to make yourself heard to a large group of people. Now, of course, it’s the easiest thing in the world to go on any social media site and say whatever is on your mind to a potential audience of millions. Anyone can start a blog or vlog. However, the ease with which you can do these things nowadays has made it clearer than ever before that not everyone has something worth saying. Not everyone has an opinion that should be spoken aloud (and while we’re on the subject, there is such a thing as a wrong opinion. We’re taught in school that that’s not the case, but OF COURSE it is. “The Godfather is a bad movie” or “Donald Trump is a good president” would be examples of wrong opinions). And so, to return to the point: why should you read this blog? There are a million blogs you could be reading right now. Why this one?
Shauna and I are real people. We have small victories and defeats everyday. We have to deal with chaos at our job, and then come home and deal with more (and often far worse) chaos. Our kids are cool most of the time, but occasionally they are horrible, smelly beasts that consume or destroy everything in sight. We have money, and then we pay bills and buy groceries and we have no money. We communicate amazingly most of the time, but sometimes we don’t, and it sucks for a while and we deal with that. We live in a house that has issues which we either get fixed or (much more likely) learn how to work around. We make plans for our future, and then have to figure out how to make those plans a reality, and in the process of that sometimes our plans get changed, or disintegrate completely. We struggle with health issues, appointments, anxiety over whether we’re spending enough time with our kids, what to have for dinner, where does all the fucking shredded cheese go because we just bought 3 bags like 2 days ago and it’s fucking GONE already?!? We deal with all of these things, and a lot more, every day. And if we’re dealing with them…then you’re dealing with them, too. These are the things we all have to face every day. Every. Day. This is Real Life. And if you can read this blog and see that we have faced an issue that you’ve already faced, or are currently facing, and if we can convince you that you WILL get through that issue and come out on the other side laughing…well, there you go. That’s “why this one”.
The twist ending to this post, which anyone could have seen coming, is that I wrote this to convince myself why it’s necessary to write it just as much as to convince you (and the tens of thousands of people you’re going to send our way) to read it. A couple weeks ago, on a Saturday night, Shauna and I had to work till about 9 PM. We got home and watched tv with the kids for a while. Around 11 or so, Shauna investigated a weird smell and discovered that a room in our basement was filled about ankle deep with sewage. Every time a sink, the dishwasher, the clothes washer, the shower, the toilets had drained for at least a few days, it had been going directly into this room. Some phone calls were made, and someone came out to unplug the drain (never giving us a good explanation for why it had happened in the first place so that we could, you know, prevent it from happening again), and left us to deal with the disgusting mess that was left behind. There wasn’t much that could really be done that night (by this time it was around 3 AM; we had to get up at 7 to work a 10 hour shift). We eventually got it taken care of and all is well now. I threw in this quick story to make the point that this type of thing might have been a devastating, apocalyptic event in another household. In ours, not so much. We took it in stride; the house smelled like shit (literally) for a few days, and then it didn’t, and we’ll probably barely remember it happened before long. You get through it. And you laugh.