2018 started uneventfully – peacefully. The weather was very cold, Jarrod and I were both working regular schedules, our kids were just finishing up their winter break from school, and life was finally settling into a comfortable routine for our family. We had no idea what the year would hold for us, but Jarrod and I knew one thing: we were extremely happy to be together.
When our first tax time as a couple came along, we had some minor disagreements on how our tax refund would be used. He had his ideas, and I had mine. And since we had different ideas, it opened up new discussions about what we could do that would make us both happy. Compromise. And since it had been something we had brought up a couple times already, including on our way back from getting married in Colorado, we re-opened the discussion on having a baby together. Jarrod suggested that if this is something we would continue coming back to, we should just do it already and not waste any more time, considering our ages. We gave it some more thought and plenty more discussion, and decided rather than fantasize about it and regret missing our chance in a few years, we would go for it!
In March we took a small family vacation with all 6 kids to Pzazz, which is a family resort here in Iowa. The website promised a swimming area, arcade, good food, a spacious room for us all, and lots of fun overall. When we got there it seemed pretty cool, but as we stayed longer we realized it was aimed more toward a younger crowd. The biggest thing the kids got joy from was the arcade, but it was ridiculously expensive. And our hotel room opened into a giant ball pit, and our room a/c didn’t work. It was hot, stuffy, and very claustrophobic in my opinion. We ended up leaving early. Jarrod and I told ourselves we would plan something better next time we were able to do a family vacation.
During about that same time, I did some research as to which surgeons were the best for our reversal surgeries, and where they were located. I got medical records faxed, forms filled out, flights and hotels booked, and surgeries scheduled. In April, we flew to North Carolina to get my tubal ligation reversal by Dr. Monteith at A Personal Choice. In May, we drove to Oklahoma to get Jarrod’s vasectomy reversal by Dr. Wilson at The Reversal Clinic. Both experiences went very well!
Then the kicker – on May 30th, after complaining to my surgeon for a couple of months (breast reduction and tummy tuck Sept 1 2017) that I had a lump and pain in my right breast, he finally was able to give me a diagnosis. Mycobacterium Fortuitum. It would require months of multiple heavy antibiotics and surgeries to my breast to clean out affected tissue and bacteria. I was told I was not to get pregnant or the baby could be severely damaged by the treatment. He gave me a prescription for 2 heavy antibiotics and told me to start them once I got a negative pregnancy test for the month.
My period was due June 3rd, and Jarrod and I both believed it was incredibly unlikely that I would be pregnant already, considering we weren’t even totally healed from our surgeries yet. I took a pregnancy test on that day, May 30th. It was negative. So I started the less dangerous of the 2 antibiotics and waited the few days for the other one. On the morning of June 3rd I woke up, felt a little off… my breasts were more sort that normal and I still wasn’t bleeding. I didn’t really think much of it but figured since I already had a pregnancy test on hand, I’d take it just to get the treatment going. It was POSITIVE! I couldn’t believe my eyes. And just as fast as the excitement came, so did the dread. What was going to happen with my infection vs. my pregnancy?
So far, these are all things I’ve blogged about in this blog. And if you look back, so you can see so many more details than just a recap version. Let’s just say it was a very rough time for us. Our emotions were high and stress levels were even higher. Check out the 2 posts in June 2018 titled “Not The Boobies” part 1 and 2. I was extremely scared throughout the entire treatment… scared of hurting the baby, and I also felt like the infection would never go away. The follow up to those posts is: I had many different kinds of pills, and was on IV antibiotics for several weeks as well. I had 2 debriding surgeries. Treatment was stopped on November 6th and it seems as though the infection is gone. However, I’m still not 100% certain the infection is gone all the way because of the different little aches and pains from my breasts changing due to pregnancy. But so far, there have been no new lumps, no unusual pains or blotches of redness, no fevers, and my doctors and I do not feel too concerned.
Through all of the treatment of antibiotics and surgeries, I was referred to a NeoNatologist to make sure baby was growing properly and staying healthy. I started seeing her at 16 weeks along, and have seen her every 4-6 weeks since. She has done many ultrasounds including an echocardiogram and growth scans on the baby. She has also done the panorama blood test to check for things such as Down’s Syndrome and other chromosomal abnormalities. Every test and scan has come back perfect! I am currently 34 weeks along and this pregnancy has been as good as can possibly can be. No gestational diabetes, no crazy weight gain, no high blood pressure. Other than the more severe aches and pains that come with a “geriatric” pregnancy, baby and I couldn’t be better. Jarrod and I are VERY happy and excited for baby to come sometime in the next 6 weeks.
During the year we also celebrated everyone’s birthdays, we saw several concerts, went on plenty of movie and dinner date nights, and overall enjoyed our first full year of marriage. Our family found a groove all together and it feels quite natural nowadays.
In July, Evan, my 14 year old son, went to stay in a psychiatric home for a while to get help with some of his anger issues. He remains there, but visits home on weekends and holidays. It has not gotten any easier over the last 6 months to drop him off when he leaves from a visit. But it really is helping him, and I look forward to him coming home likely within the next couple of months. I’m glad I made the decision to do that for him and his future.
In September, Andy, my 16 year old son, had jaw surgery. It had been planned for about 3 years and it was finally time to get it done. The surgeon broke his bottom jaw on both sides and extended it out so it would be more even with his top jaw. I was there for him the whole time, staying with him in the hospital, pureeing his food for weeks at home, and making sure he had his medications and as much comfort as I could provide. It was officially fully healed mid-December. It was about a 3 month recovery. I was nervous about him getting hit in the face by the dog or something, but his recovery went very well, quite smoothly. And he’s all healed!
This year, both Thanksgiving and Christmas were hosted in our home. This ends up falling on us because we have the biggest house, and the most room for guests. For Thanksgiving, my mom came over and cooked for us all. And for Christmas, Jarrod’s mom and brother came over and cooked for us all. Both holidays went very well.
Our Christmas this year was a huge success. Jarrod and I made the accomplishment this year of purchasing all the gifts for our kids with absolutely no help from anyone at all. It may seem small to some, but it was huge for us! All the kids were pleased with what they got, and no one walked away disappointed. The gathering we had went so very well, too, with both Jarrod’s family and my family all under one roof and everyone got along so well. It filled our hearts with love and gratitude that we were able to have all we had this year.
And now we go into 2019 knowing that no matter what the obstacle or blessing, we are strong and have faith that we will come through it together even stronger.